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edges of light has been music for slowly realizing I was in a hole and step by step climbing out of it. it’s been music for coming to know myself and working to change. I didn’t intend it this way, but it’s ended up as two similar cycles:
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first, the self-titled album.
I wrote songs that resembled the feelings I could faintly detect around the edges of my awareness. I wrote songs imagining falling apart.
I didn’t yet realize how much fear I carried with me, how much of myself I had to uncover. it ended with “In the Interest of the Truth”, probably the first song I ever wrote where I was really being honest about myself.
“in the interest of the truth, I’m a mess and I don’t know what to do.”
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second, CONTEXT COLLAPSE DISORDER and now “The Slow Grace of Time”.
soon after I released the self-titled album things really did fall apart. I didn’t just have to imagine it.
it was a bad time — beyond any of my imaginings — but it was also an extraordinary explosion of beauty in my life. I began to feel in a way I never had before. I found myself on the verge of tears looking at paintings or a tree! I started to finally really see myself and feel the world. I started to consciously build my life. CONTEXT COLLAPSE DISORDER is the agony; “The Slow Grace of Time” is, well, the grace.
this last set of songs is pretty old now. they came out of me and I quickly climbed beyond, leaving them unfinished on my hard drive. although I’m in a different place now, they mean a great deal to me. they’re from a time in my life that changed me, so I finished them. and here we are.
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music has been pouring out of me recently. it feels different and I’m thrilled by it. I’m still climbing (surely I always will be!) but the world doesn’t feel like a hole anymore and neither do I. I’m not sure what it’s all going to be yet and I can’t wait to see where it leads.